Turning Over a New Leaf

In fairness to Weinstein, it was a Hairy Palm tree.

Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein, a liberal champion and deep pockets Democratic donor, has been outed as a longtime serial sexual predator whose abuse of "casting couch" privileges would make Caligula puke.

Interestingly, but not in the least surprisingly, those in Hollywood and in the Left's power circles have known about all of this for decades - and didn't care. Because in their sick world, having power, money, and a platform to espouse Leftist ideology far outweighs any little peccadilloes like actual sexual abuse.

Moreover, according to the feminist playbook (which was hastily rewritten following the Lewinsky affair), it's just fine for a man in a powerful position to take advantage of women if those women think there's a chance they can get something out of it. The alleged lesson of the Clinton era was what looks like abuse is actually women empowering themselves through the use of their sexuality.

So we're a little confused about how we're supposed to feel about Weinstein - is he monster or martyr? In any event, having declared himself a victim of his own carnal impulses he's already well on the way to being completely forgiven by those on the Left - unlike a certain President who only joked about pussy grabbing.

BONUS: DEFACE THE NATION

Statues of Robert E. Lee are breathing a sigh of relief today, because they're getting a 24 hour reprieve from social justice vandals thanks to "Deface Columbus Day."

Antifa groups nationwide are being called on by the basement-dwelling Revolutionary Abolitionist Movement (RAM) to deface, vandalize, or destroy any public monuments to Christopher Columbus, because inanimate objects make better targets than people who can fight back.

We're not even sure why the Revolutionary Abolitionist Movement has a grudge against Columbus, as their stated purpose is "the violent redistribution of wealth" and "the abolition of gender" which presumably involves the violent redistribution of genitalia.

All of which makes us think that if Columbus had known what the future held, he wouldn't have bothered discovering a land of such galloping idiocy.

Frankly, Sinatra, I Don't Give A Damn

Hard to believe she's still using air that should have been Tom Petty's.

Following the horrific massacre in Las Vegas, decrepit former entertainer Nancy "These Boobs Were Made For Sagging" Sinatra has come up with a brilliantly simple way to permanently end gun violence in our nation.

Specifically, she wants all five million members of the NRA to be lined up against a wall and shot to death by firing squads. Granted, this would have absolutely no effect on criminal gun violence in our country, but the massive domestic holocaust would at least temporarily slake the bottomless blood lust of those on the Left and (bonus!) get them to support funding for Trump's really big wall so they can have someplace to line up so many citizens.

There could also be a positive little bump in the nation's textile industry which would need to quickly provide five million blindfolds to those who would rather not accidentally gaze on Nancy Sinatra's smug, withered visage before they're executed.

Since Ms. Sinatra is clearly clueless, we'd like to give her one: genocidal fascists like you are the reason that good people want guns, and the reason that the NRA exists to protect them from your murderous, anti-constitutional impulses.

BONUS: NO DOOR PRIZE

Actually, "Fog" wasn't the first F-word we thought of...

As a quick followup to Wednesday's post, here is our new super-duper, energy efficient, double-paned back door from Jeld-wen.

We have been informed by Jeld-wen that the door is functioning perfectly despite being obscured by condensation (currently on the outside of the door, but which will conveniently fog over on the inside come Winter). No other glass in the house is doing this.

One might think that consumers would buy a glass door for the purpose of, oh, seeing through it - but Jeld-wen assures us that such consumers are drooling idiots of the type not protected by any warranty ("The fault is yours, sir, for buying the wrong product"). Because according to Jeld-wen, the true purpose of glass is to prevent deadly global warming-induced ultra violet radiation from penetrating into our home in case the world tips on its axis and our north-facing door is suddenly getting blasted by direct exposure to solar rays from Canada.

To their credit, Jeld-wen acknowledges on their website that condensation can be a problem. They even have a video which suggests that the condition can be mitigated by turning up the heat on your furnace and pointing an electric fan at the condensation (in our case, by running a fan outside). These are, charitably speaking, odd ways of attaining "energy efficiency."

A less than helpful representative of Jeld-wen assured us that there is nothing we can do other than to accept this interesting quirk of their excellent product, and we suppose they're right. And just to prove there are no hard feelings, we'd like all Stilton's Place readers who are considering building, remodeling, or doing window replacement to think first of Jeld-wen doors and windows if they've previously found their utility bills to be too low, and standard glass to be just too damned clear most of the time.

In Praise of Lead Balloons

Granted, lead balloons aren't expected to fly...but in times like these we think they're just the thing for lowering one's self into quieter, calmer waters for a bit.

All of the news and social media nonsense surrounding the nightmare in Las Vegas has actually managed to make a horrible situation worse. Finger-pointing, conspiracy theories, and political opportunism are all running rampant as people try to find a way to "never let a serious crisis go to waste." And it sickens us.

On a more personal level, we're mourning the loss of Tom Petty - a damn good rocker about whom "workmanlike" should be considered a term of praise. He was an American original and spoke to and for the heartland. He created a lot of great music, and we're saddened that his contributions are too soon over.

We're also feeling emotionally drained today as we round the two month mark on home remodeling. Every day brings a delightful new surprise, assuming you consider an incipient gastric ulcer "delightful," with today being no exception.

We had a warm, wet rain overnight - and as a result our brand new, fiendishly expensive, double-paned glass back door fogged over from top to bottom. As none of our crappy 30-year old double-paned windows did this, we suspected that something was wrong with the door. But nooOOooo. The manufacturer told us that condensation was simply a feature of their overpriced door and didn't represent a problem.

Apparently, they don't actually set up the double panes to provide an insulation factor or thermal barrier (surprise!) and promise only that their special reflectivity will give energy efficiency by bouncing dangerous UV waves away from our door's exterior (where direct sunlight of ANY kind never hits) while permitting cold air to flow right through - thereby making condensation a certainty on humid days when we run our air conditioning. And yes - that combination happens a LOT in Texas.

Bonus: come Wintertime, this will translate to a cold incoming draft and interior condensation - maybe even sheets of ice upon which we can chip off and add to any alcohol we'll still be able to afford!

It being that sort of day, we ducked out of the house (it's "fix your mistakes day," so there's a lot of hammering, painting, and such going on at the Jarlsberg estate) and went to McDonald's, where we managed to bring the entire operation to a halt by turning in a complicated and, perhaps, wholly unprecedented order: "A Big Mac meal and a cheeseburger."  Seriously, the subsequent "meal" would have arrived faster if I'd ordered Duck a l'Orange on a bed of banana Moon Pies.

So please pardon this rambling, self-indulgent post. Following the horror in Las Vegas, it's going to take awhile for us to get back into the levity habit.

BONUS: MEMORIES OF TOM PETTY